Supporting Children with Anxiety and Emotional Regulation

At Hollymount, we know that children experience a wide range of emotions as they grow, learn, build friendships, and navigate an increasingly busy world. Feeling worried, nervous, frustrated, or overwhelmed is a normal part of childhood. However, for some children, these feelings can become bigger, last longer, or begin to affect daily life, confidence, learning, friendships, or family routines.

Some children may experience Anxiety Disorder, while others may need support with emotional regulation, the ability to recognise, understand, and manage feelings in a safe and healthy way.

Whether your child has an identified need, is going through a difficult period, or you simply have questions about their emotional wellbeing, we want families to know that support is available.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is our body’s natural response to feeling worried, uncertain, unsafe, or under pressure. A small amount of anxiety can be helpful and can prepare us for new experiences or challenges. However, when worries become persistent, overwhelming, or start to affect everyday life, additional support may be helpful.

Children may feel anxious about:

• School or learning

• Friendships and social situations

• Separation from parents or carers

• Change or uncertainty

• Performance or getting things “wrong”

• Health or safety

• New experiences

• Sleep or bedtime

• Family changes or difficult life events

What is emotional regulation?

Emotional regulation is the ability to:

• Recognise feelings

• Understand what is causing them

• Express emotions safely

• Calm down after becoming upset, frustrated, or overwhelmed

• Solve problems and move forward

These skills develop over time and many children need support, practice, and co-regulation from trusted adults.

Signs families may notice at home

Every child is different, but families may notice that their child:

Signs of anxiety

• Worries frequently or asks for repeated reassurance

• Finds it hard to separate from parents or carers

• Avoids certain situations, activities, or social events

• Appears highly perfectionistic or afraid of making mistakes

• Complains of tummy aches, headaches, or feeling unwell, particularly before school or new situations

• Has difficulty sleeping or settling at bedtime

• Becomes distressed by changes in routine

• Appears quiet, withdrawn, or unusually clingy

Signs of emotional regulation difficulties

• Has big emotional reactions that seem disproportionate

• Finds it hard to calm down once upset

• Becomes easily frustrated or overwhelmed

• Shouts, cries, argues, or withdraws when things feel difficult

• Struggles with losing games, waiting, or managing disappointment

• Appears calm at school but releases emotions at home

• Becomes physically restless or emotionally explosive when tired, hungry, or overstimulated

Not every child who worries or has emotional outbursts has an anxiety disorder. Childhood development, temperament, life experiences, sleep, sensory needs, and other neurodevelopmental differences can all play a role.

What to do if you have concerns

If you are worried about your child’s emotional wellbeing:

1. Speak to us

Your child’s class teacher is often the best first point of contact. School and home together can build a fuller picture of how your child is feeling across different settings.

2. Notice patterns

It may be helpful to keep a simple record of:

• Triggers for worry or emotional outbursts

• Times of day when things feel harder

• Sleep patterns

• Friendship or social concerns

• Changes in routine

• Strategies that seem to help

3. Keep communication open

Children do not always have the words to explain big feelings. Regular calm conversations can help children feel safe to share.

4. Seek professional advice if needed

Your National Health Service GP, school, or local wellbeing services may be able to advise if further support is needed.

Practical strategies that can help at home

Many children benefit from:

Naming emotions

Help children build emotional vocabulary:

• Happy

• Excited

• Worried

• Frustrated

• Disappointed

• Overwhelmed

• Nervous

• Proud

You might say:

"I wonder if you are feeling disappointed right now?"

Co-regulation before problem solving

Children often need connection before solutions:

• Stay calm

• Use a quiet voice

• Offer reassurance

• Sit alongside rather than face to face if needed

Children learn to regulate by borrowing the calm of trusted adults.

Predictable routines

Many children feel safer when routines are consistent:

• Morning routines

• Homework routines

• Bedtime routines

• Preparing for changes in advance

Reducing pressure

Some children become overwhelmed by too many choices, too many questions, or unrealistic expectations.

Breaking tasks into smaller steps can help.

Movement and sensory regulation

Many children regulate better through movement:

• Walking

• Cycling

• Swimming

• Dancing

• Trampolining

• Outdoor play

• Stretching or yoga

Supporting sleep

Tired children often find emotional regulation harder:

• Consistent bedtime routines

• Reduced screen time before bed

• Calm wind-down activities

Model healthy emotional language

Children learn by watching adults:

"I am feeling a little stressed, so I am going to take a moment and organise my thoughts."

Helpful organisations and resources

Families may find these organisations helpful:

• YoungMinds – practical advice and parent support

• Place2Be – wellbeing resources

• Mind – mental health information and support

• NHS – anxiety information and local services

• Anna Freud Centre – resources for emotional wellbeing

What we might do at school to help

If concerns are identified, school may be able to support through:

• Trusted adult check-ins

• Emotional literacy work

• Visual regulation tools

• Safe spaces and calm routines

• Individual support plans

• Small group wellbeing support

• ELSA interventions where appropriate

• Advice from inclusion staff or external professionals

At Hollymount, we believe children learn best when they feel safe, understood, and emotionally secure. By working closely with families, we can help children build confidence, resilience, and the emotional tools they need to thrive.